The past 28 weeks of my life

28 weeks sounds like such a short time. But in fact it has been 7 full months! 7 months of a beautiful pregnancy! Yes, it’s had it’s ups and downs. Crazy emotions and joys. But it has been a journey that I have been looking forward to for as long as I can remember.

Here are some “pregnancy symptoms” I have experienced…

Fatigue. I’m not just talking I need a nap. I’m talking, I need to sleep ALL DAY! Body is achy. Muscle’s don’t want to move. TIRED like I have never experienced.

Emotions. Lots of them. Take an emotional woman’s “time of the month” times 10! My poor husband had to sit through it all. Fortunately, it’s not hardly as bad any more.

And lets talk about crying at any given moment! Commercials. TV shows. Something someone says. Good or bad. I’m tearing up. But nothing you can’t laugh about later.

Gagging! HOLY COW! I am not and have never been a gagger! I could have stuck my finger down my throat and nothing would happen. Get pregnant, and I’m an instant gagger! Spit made me gag. Cooking made me gag. Smells made me gag. You name it, it was gaggin’! (thank goodness that goes away!)

Weight gain. Although I have been lucky thus far and have only gained 12 pounds. It’s still something you worry about as a woman. You want to bounce right back after the baby is born. You want to be one of the lucky ones that looks like she never had a baby when you walk out of the hospital! Although, I am realistic and I know that probably won’t be true in my case. I am still overly conscience about the weight I put on.

Speaking of weight… Food cravings!!! I have not had any weird food cravings. BUT if you talk about Pizza I am ALL OVER IT!!!! Pizza is something that I can eat a lot of right now. I always want it. And it almost always sounds good! And doughnuts!!! I love me some store bought doughnuts!!! Good thing they are high in calories because it has kept me from eating a lot of them.

Water! I drink more water then someone running a marathon!!! It’s almost like a life line. I crave it and wake up in the middle of the night needing it!! But that is something I am not ashamed of.

My Bladder! It’s no silly coincidence that pregnant woman have to pee on a regular basis. Fortunately for me it’s has just recently REALLY kicked in. And I just laugh. It’s something you can’t avoid and I would rather have a healthy bladder then an unhealthy one.

Pale skin. This baby has literally SUCKED the pigment out of my skin!!! I use to just DREAD being too pale. And I would RUN to the tanning bed. But I’m actually starting to like it. With the right make up, it could work

Dr. Appointments. I have to say, my favorite thing is when she starts looking for the heart beat. The first time I cried. It’s amazing to just sit there and hear a little heart beat in your belly and know that it’s YOUR BABY that you and your husband created. You start thinking about what she’ll look like. Who will she most act like. And that heart beat is just a reassurance that she is still there and everything is still ok…

Movement. I first felt my flutters around 17 weeks. They were really weak flutters but I knew it wasn’t my organs moving around because it almost felt like a tickle. NOW 10 weeks later she is much stronger and to the point were she moves enough to move my whole body. And having BJ wait to feel her is even more exciting!! I love remembering the look on his face when he first felt her move! What an experience to have.

Before I ever got pregnant I was determined to enjoy my pregnancy NO MATTER HOW I FELT!! Because it’s life. God is trusting me with this little life. To carry her in my womb and into the world. To raise her up with the best of my abilities. Every child is a gift. No matter the circumstances. I look at my 2 year old niece and think about how fast she has grown and the things she has learned. And now I get the chance to raise my own little bean and teach her things. I just PRAY that it will be pleasing to the Lord. That some how, I’ll do it right.

My goals for the rest of this pregnancy is to continue to educate myself. Being a stay at home mom seems to be a shock to people any more. It’s not really heard of. I am blessed with a husband who stands by my wants to be a stay-at-home-mom. I know God will bless this home because we are listening to what we feel is right for this family.

AND… people think I am crazy for wanting to go all natural with this pregnancy and labor. I feel that for me, I am meant to have this baby as natural as possible. For me! Not for anyone else. If you had medication, I am not going to bet you down and shake my finger at you. Everyone is different. God is in everything. Meds or not. I just feel for me and this family, I don’t want medication. (unless I absolutely have too!) Besides… I hate needless and the thought of not having any control. And thats the selfish and stubborn side of me.

So… I have 12 weeks left! Thats it… 12 weeks and our little Sage Madison will come into this world thinking “WHAT THE HECK! PUT ME BACK!”… And then eventually she will thank me when she is 30 or so for bringing her into this world and teaching her about life, and Jesus, and everything else in between.

Sage Madison Carpenter…. I love you already! I love feeling you move inside of me and reminding me that you are going to be a strong woman! And this is something that I will cherish for the rest of my life!

 

My Future

Knowing that we are going to have a girl is such a big deal because there are SO MANY THINGS that come with having a girl. Pretty Dresses. Dancing. Singing. Cheerleading. Boys. And lots and lots of emotions!!! I don’t consider myself an over emotional girl. I think I have balance. Although, yes, when I was a teen I would cry if I was hurt. But at least I wasn’t screaming! lol.

Also with having a girl there is the known fact that they do things a little sooner then most boys. Like talking. My niece Lucy is just barely over the age of two and she is talking in full sentences, giving dirty looks, and rolling her eyes. Like she 18 already!! It’s amazing to me how fast she has grown and the things she is catching up on. Seeing her makes me very aware of what I’m about to get myself into. And this great video, that is all over facebook, is a great look into my future of having a girl.

Please enjoy a good laugh

Dreaming

Hello there world. I think it’s time for a girlie moment. SO for all you boys that read my blog.. today might NOT be your day! LOL

For the longest time I have dreamed about my future children. They were always fuzzy but my heart would sink and I would cry or could feel their touch. It was enough for me to know that even though it was a dream, it was very real.

Well, a few years ago I felt like God named my first child. I can’t quite explain to you how this happened. I just knew. Deep in my heart. Mainly because it was a name I have NEVER heard of and it came out of no where. I just had this deep desire that my children would have incredable names that truly meant something.  And wha-la here is this name… wanna know what it is????….

Sage Madison

Yes, Sage as in the herb. BUT the meaning is what makes it something so unique. Sage means Propheit! But wait.. there’s more.. Madison means Light and Warrior!!! How stinkin powerful!!! Nothing more do I want a daughter who is strong and beautiful and has incrediable depth to her life. SO.. you can only imagine that i started thinking about her more. Praying about her more.. And dreaming about her more.

One night, my mom and I both had a dream about her! Amazing right?? I thought so.

But wait there’s more…

So, it has been awhile since I’ve really had good children dreams. (haha, thats what I’m calling them) I have dreams but never really clear. But always makes my heart jump. ANYWAYS, last night… I had a dream of all dreams. It was amazing. I didn’t want to wake up. I gave birth to my baby girl. And it was beautiful. Every one that i love was there. It was peaceful, amazing.. and then i looked at her, kissed her and said “hello Sage Madison”. And then all of the sudden it was Spring. Sage was three or so.. and I could see her. Clear as day. And she looked JUST LIKE BJ! Blonde hair, petite, big blue eyes, and a mouth just like his. She was beautiful. Everything I wanted was in that moment. And I had to wake up.

I know it sounds silly. But it’s in those moments that I pray for my future kids. I have no idea how many I’ll have or what they will really look like. But all I know is that God has his hands all over it. And I am so ready!

….  ok, enough dreaming for the day. more to come. It’s been to long since I’ve updated this thing!

 

(and NO I’m not pregnant)

And then He spoke

Well, so I thought. I’m not sure.

See, I’m debating. Whether or not God spoke to me. Cause I thought he did. I thought his plan for me was clear. But then someone else “spoke”… and my thoughts changed.

Have you ever felt that way? Confident in what you thought God was saying to you… and then, It changes.

Usually, me and God are pretty clear. In a sense, I know in my heart what to do. Sometimes he puts you in uncomfortable positions to make you want to get out. But not this time. There was not discomfort, no uneasy feeling, just what I thought, was clarity.

But it’s not. Not this time.

See, here’s my dilemma. I’m in between what to do with my life RIGHT NOW. Not down the road. I know what God has for me down the road. This is just for now. I have a job that I love. The hours are not great, nor is the pay, but who cares?? When your in a “happy place” for the most part, all the time, you don’t question it. But then when the opportunity to have an actual career of something else that you love comes by, you want that too. I told my husband that I am to dedicated to, to many things, and therefore, I only want one job. Good pay or not. As long as I’m happy.

But what happens when your happy with both things. I got a taste of a career that I dream of, and I work at I place that I DO love.

Is God ever unclear? NO… we, as humans doubt or debate God when he speaks. The bible says that his voice is like THUNDER! And he does things that we will never understand. Yet, we think we understand and we know what’s best or whatever.

Anyways, God is speaking… I’m just having a hard time listening. Just because not only do I want what is best for me, but for my family as well.

Listening… we try, we fight about it, we contemplate it, we love it, we hate it… Listening is more then just hearing, BUT DOING. To make an effort to hear something. Effort… something done by exertion or hard work.

Listening takes effort, hard work, and an attempt to make sense of it all. And Doing something about it.

I’m listening, quitely, or loudly… how ever you see it… but I’m listening