There is a lot to be said in this title. In Fact, there is a lot going through my head about that word.


As a child you are told and taught to think of others. Don’t hit your brother. Share your toys. Share your treats. Love everyone. Give here, give there. As you get older you learn there are MORE places to be unselfish. You develop friendships. You become committed to things. You have jobs. Things that require to make you think about other people.

I have learned that lately, I am a very selfish person. I want to sound better, look better, have the perfect house, the perfect life… BLAH BLAH BLAH

Well… I can’t have that. I can’t have those wonderful things until I become self-less.

LESS of me and MORE of Jesus.

Some people (hint hint: mom) would disagree and say that I am not selfish in many ways. Which in some ways, I’m not. I love giving of my time, time that I don’t have, to commit myself to many things that I can’t say no to. I love GIVING GIFTS!! If I have $5 to last me all week I would rather by someone lunch with it then spend it on myself. But there is SO MUCH MORE to being unselfish then just doing good works.

self⋅less  –adjective

having little or no concern for oneself, esp. with regard to fame, position, money, etc.; unselfish.

MAN… WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!?!?! God called us to be WILLING SERVANTS!!! Just like he was. He was all about the people that surrounded him. Loved the people more then he ever loved himself.

We’re talking about a man that can do anything he ever wanted. Could have had all the riches and fame in the world, and he chose to serve his people.

I was reminded tonight, by Pastor Aaron, the story about Jesus washing people’s feet. The lowest of the lowest position in a house hold, and Jesus did it. JESUS DID IT! With no hesitation. With no contemplating. With no REGRET! Just.. did it.

Romans 12:10 “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

Putting others needs above your own is a difficult thing. For a mother to a child I would think it’s hard, but not difficult because they NEED you. Although I’m sure there are mom’s out there who would just like a break. But knowing that the small (or big) child needs you would make you lay all of you selfishness aside, and do it. But when it comes to adults, or people of your age.. Isn’t it harder? Seeing that man on the street needing money.. it’s hard. Knowing that he could get a job somewhere if he just cleaned himself up and tried. But God says to do it any way. Love them any way. Give of yourself any way.

Servant: a person in the service of another.

When I read this definition I think… “man, I am sooo bull headed”. I can’t just do something for someone without thinking what I will get in return. Or How will this advance me in my life? Not realizing that it will advance me into God’s Kingdom and that should be the one and only thing that I truly care about. I want God to be proud of me. And I truly believe that he has called us ALL to be servants. Not just the people that are good at it. Cause I can tell you right now, there are a few people at the top of my head that give without ceasing. Or hesitation. And I want to be one of those people that someone think about when they hear the word servant!

Let me let you in on a little tid bit of my life. I am very selfish when it concerns my relationship with my Husband. Now I realize that we are BOTH very stubborn people. And this is not a confession that is to be held over my head. But this is a working process. God tells us women to cherish or husbands and to bring them good, not harm.  Selfishness is and can be a very powerful thing. It’s a life style that can take over us when we’re not looking. Like that ugly shirt with holes that you just don’t want to get rid of. Selfishness. Stubbornness. I have it all.

I’m making a world wide confession (and don’t hate me but,)… BJ, I AM SO SORRY!! I am so sorry that I am selfish when it comes to our marriage. Our way of life. The way we think things. God hears us. He knows the desires of our hearts. I see the man of God that you are and I don’t doubt you. We are both stubborn… But I want to learn more and more how to be a great servant wife. (but not THAT kind of servant! 🙂 ) I love you more then you will ever know. You are my world and I would be lost without you. I’m learning. We’re learning. Together, this is what God has for us. I know it. and I LOVE YOU!


To everyone else out there reading this. This was a venting moment. Something that I needed to do. Typing it all out makes it more clear. And in return please know that SELFISHNESS gets you no where, except back to feeling empty. Do something for someone. Everyday. Not just today, or tomorrow. But everyday. Give a hug. A penny. Clean a house. Whatever. God called us to be servants for a reason. He knows the out come. And the ultimate impact… TO CHANGE THE WORLD! And we can… one servant at a time.




3 thoughts on “Selfishness

  1. bradruggles says:

    Wow, that’s a great post Cherith. I can really identify with you on that one. I think we all have a very nasty, selfish side to us that wants to come out every so often. Keeping it at bay is a struggle we all have to face. Living to Christ, dying to ourselves.

    Keep growing in Christ and becoming more and more like Him every day. Praying for you.

  2. Mama says:

    I am so proud of you. There is so much blessing in submission to our husbands (and to God) Women hate that word but it brings LIFE to a marriage. It’s hard and it takes selflessness and sacrifice, but the benefits are outstanding. If we can’t submit to our earthly husbands that we can see-touch-hear, how can we expect to submit to our God and be His selfless bride? God knew what He was doing when He set up the structure of marraige. It is a picture of our relationship to Him.
    You may not be completely selfless, but you are a disciple and that is all He asks of us. That we be teachable and example love. You, are both.
    I continue to learn from your example.

  3. Charlot says:

    Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed your writing on selfishness and stuborness. I too want to please the lord in these areas of my life but find it hardest with my husband and have often said that the lord gave us our partners to polish us.

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