The past 28 weeks of my life

28 weeks sounds like such a short time. But in fact it has been 7 full months! 7 months of a beautiful pregnancy! Yes, it’s had it’s ups and downs. Crazy emotions and joys. But it has been a journey that I have been looking forward to for as long as I can remember.

Here are some “pregnancy symptoms” I have experienced…

Fatigue. I’m not just talking I need a nap. I’m talking, I need to sleep ALL DAY! Body is achy. Muscle’s don’t want to move. TIRED like I have never experienced.

Emotions. Lots of them. Take an emotional woman’s “time of the month” times 10! My poor husband had to sit through it all. Fortunately, it’s not hardly as bad any more.

And lets talk about crying at any given moment! Commercials. TV shows. Something someone says. Good or bad. I’m tearing up. But nothing you can’t laugh about later.

Gagging! HOLY COW! I am not and have never been a gagger! I could have stuck my finger down my throat and nothing would happen. Get pregnant, and I’m an instant gagger! Spit made me gag. Cooking made me gag. Smells made me gag. You name it, it was gaggin’! (thank goodness that goes away!)

Weight gain. Although I have been lucky thus far and have only gained 12 pounds. It’s still something you worry about as a woman. You want to bounce right back after the baby is born. You want to be one of the lucky ones that looks like she never had a baby when you walk out of the hospital! Although, I am realistic and I know that probably won’t be true in my case. I am still overly conscience about the weight I put on.

Speaking of weight… Food cravings!!! I have not had any weird food cravings. BUT if you talk about Pizza I am ALL OVER IT!!!! Pizza is something that I can eat a lot of right now. I always want it. And it almost always sounds good! And doughnuts!!! I love me some store bought doughnuts!!! Good thing they are high in calories because it has kept me from eating a lot of them.

Water! I drink more water then someone running a marathon!!! It’s almost like a life line. I crave it and wake up in the middle of the night needing it!! But that is something I am not ashamed of.

My Bladder! It’s no silly coincidence that pregnant woman have to pee on a regular basis. Fortunately for me it’s has just recently REALLY kicked in. And I just laugh. It’s something you can’t avoid and I would rather have a healthy bladder then an unhealthy one.

Pale skin. This baby has literally SUCKED the pigment out of my skin!!! I use to just DREAD being too pale. And I would RUN to the tanning bed. But I’m actually starting to like it. With the right make up, it could work 🙂

Dr. Appointments. I have to say, my favorite thing is when she starts looking for the heart beat. The first time I cried. It’s amazing to just sit there and hear a little heart beat in your belly and know that it’s YOUR BABY that you and your husband created. You start thinking about what she’ll look like. Who will she most act like. And that heart beat is just a reassurance that she is still there and everything is still ok…

Movement. I first felt my flutters around 17 weeks. They were really weak flutters but I knew it wasn’t my organs moving around because it almost felt like a tickle. NOW 10 weeks later she is much stronger and to the point were she moves enough to move my whole body. And having BJ wait to feel her is even more exciting!! I love remembering the look on his face when he first felt her move! What an experience to have.

Before I ever got pregnant I was determined to enjoy my pregnancy NO MATTER HOW I FELT!! Because it’s life. God is trusting me with this little life. To carry her in my womb and into the world. To raise her up with the best of my abilities. Every child is a gift. No matter the circumstances. I look at my 2 year old niece and think about how fast she has grown and the things she has learned. And now I get the chance to raise my own little bean and teach her things. I just PRAY that it will be pleasing to the Lord. That some how, I’ll do it right.

My goals for the rest of this pregnancy is to continue to educate myself. Being a stay at home mom seems to be a shock to people any more. It’s not really heard of. I am blessed with a husband who stands by my wants to be a stay-at-home-mom. I know God will bless this home because we are listening to what we feel is right for this family.

AND… people think I am crazy for wanting to go all natural with this pregnancy and labor. I feel that for me, I am meant to have this baby as natural as possible. For me! Not for anyone else. If you had medication, I am not going to bet you down and shake my finger at you. Everyone is different. God is in everything. Meds or not. I just feel for me and this family, I don’t want medication. (unless I absolutely have too!) Besides… I hate needless and the thought of not having any control. And thats the selfish and stubborn side of me. 🙂

So… I have 12 weeks left! Thats it… 12 weeks and our little Sage Madison will come into this world thinking “WHAT THE HECK! PUT ME BACK!”… And then eventually she will thank me when she is 30 or so for bringing her into this world and teaching her about life, and Jesus, and everything else in between.

Sage Madison Carpenter…. I love you already! I love feeling you move inside of me and reminding me that you are going to be a strong woman! And this is something that I will cherish for the rest of my life!

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My life in Ruins…

Tonight I sit in my living room an emotional WRECK!!! Not that being pregnant is helping that fact… But when the world hits.. it hits HARD!!

To know that God is in control is an under statement. Because that is evident. There is just this side of me that wants to TAKE the control. Not because I feel like I can do it better. But because I want it NOW. Like the little selfish rich girl in Willy Wonka and her famous song about wanting the Goose that lays the golden Eggs “… I want today… I want tomorrow..”

I want answers. I want fixes.

But I NEED Jesus.

I NEED his guidance.

Although I feel like everything is crumbling underneath me at this very moment, I know God has control regardless.

I have no idea where this quote came from but it is what I am sticking to for quite awhile.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can not change,  courage to change the things I can, and WISDOM to know the difference.”

AMEN