Things to Keep

As a new mommy with a one month old, I have learned so much lately. (and to think it’s only the beginning!) And I think the most important things that I have learned are Things to Keep close to me or to remember.

Here is my list of my Top 5 things to keep:

5.) KEEP the house dirty! – It’s so important that in the beginning of a new baby to not worry about what the house looks like. Once you feel good and in a good “routine” THEN maybe venture out to clean. But until then. Stop doing laundry. Stop trying to make dinner. Stop trying to clean and sweep. Trust me. You will live.

4.) KEEP all your hobbies – Just because there is a baby doesn’t mean you have to stop what you love. For example. I LOVE to listen to my music. Especially in the car. Well, just because my little one is in the car with me doesn’t mean I have to keep the volume down to one decimal. She is very use to my loud music. Although, I don’t go crazy loud. I still don’t keep it down. AND I plan on going back to dancing and working out once my body is healed. Heck, I might even pick up a new hobby like the Piano 🙂

3.) KEEP date night – My husband and I LOVE to go on a date. It’s such a great way to spend time with each other. And we finally went out on our first date with NO BABY! She lived. I LIVED. And we had such a great time!!! Keep date night. Whether it’s pawning off the kids to a friends for a quite house and a game of cards or dinner and a movie. Enjoy one another.

2.) KEEP your friends close – I can not tell you how important my girlfriends are to me!!!! (you know who you are 🙂 ) Not only have they given me wonderful advice, but just being there for me because they understand means so much to me. AND I have completely enjoyed their meals 🙂 What a blessing!!! Not having to cook was so great! And to my girlfriends with out babies… you mean a lot to me too because I know you will want to hold Sage and not have anything (or anyone) else that will want your attention! lol

1.) KEEP your marriage secure – Man, I can not tell you how important my husband has been for me in this last month. Before the baby I didn’t rely on him like I should. But now… NOW I NEED HIM!!! He is my security. My rock. My Sanity. I love him more then life. And when are kids are grown and gone it will be just him and I. Therefore, he comes first (after the Lord of course). Because in the end, my kids can not love me like he does and will for the rest of my life.

 Can you believe it?! In one month I learned all of this! I can’t imagine what the next 18 years has in store 🙂

What are some other things that you’ve learned to keep close to you?

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Sage Madison Carpenter 1-16-10

It has been a few weeks, but I wanted to post this before I forgot it all!

On saturday, January 16th @ 12:01pm, we welcomed into the world our first baby, Sage!

Man. What a journey it has been being pregnant! I have so much to talk about, but the first thing I want to talk about is my birthing experience.

And you are all wondering… “Did she do it? Did she go ALL NATURAL??”

YES! I did it! I lasted a full 19 hours with no drugs, no medication, and no intervention!

I started truly laboring around 5pm on friday night. For about 3 weeks I was already having contractions. They were more like menstrual cramps that were mostly in the evening. But when I started to have real contractions we could time them and they felt a little more intense then the usual cramping I was experiencing.

The night before, thursday, I had felt 3 gushes. It felt like I had peed my pants but with zero effort! I called my doula and she said that my water probably broke. Now, this is possible for your water to break without contractions. It’s just a sign that labor is coming hopefully within the next few hours.

Well, we waited… and waited… packed the car, and waited. Nothing happened. I didn’t feel any change and it started to make me worry. Now, if I would have gone to the hospital right away they would have admitted me and kept me on a time clock. Because, they have to take precautions, if your water did break, and if your baby isn’t born in 24 hours they will MAKE the baby come (however that may be). But in my research 🙂 and my personal belief, you do not need to rush to the hospital after something like that happens because it really isn’t THAT serious if your water broke. Some midwives will let woman go for days like this… So, with that, I didn’t call the hospital.

Although, after almost 12 hours and no change I decided to call my doula because I was concerned that I wasn’t having contractions at all! With talking to her and my husband, we thought it would be best to ask my Dr if my water truly did break. That took us to our first hospital visit. I was not thrilled to say the least. Cause I knew that if my water did break the time clock would begin and they would want to induce me and all this other stuff that I did not want.

Well, I was checked, and wouldn’t you know it… my water DIDN’T break!! Weird… So we went home (after hours of being in that little room) and just waited. I started to notice that I was having my cramping pains more regular and for certain amounts of time. So my husband and I decided that we would start timing them. Well, after a long period of time, and the contractions getting a tid bit more intense, I called my doula Brooke. And she agreed. I was in labor! 🙂

I was so excited!!! It was official! I was experiencing something that I have geared up for, for so long! I was nervous and yet, so ready.

First you should know, it was very important to me to labor at home for as long as possible! I was much more comfortable there. I wore my clothes. Played my music. Lite some candles. And my husband even took a little nap because my mom and doula were there. Anyways, As the contractions got more intense I had to concentrate harder. Relaxing is SO SO important during a contraction. It’s human nature to tense up when you feel pain, but doing that will make it harder for the baby from going where they need to be. And will also make the contractions hurt more! My doula kept reminding me to relax my bottom. And it truly helped! (especially during the end with the VERY intense contractions). There were a few times at home where the pain really hit me, and honestly I would cry. But there is something that everyone needs to remember, contractions really only last 30-45 seconds. But because it’s pain, it feels like so much longer. I had to remind myself often that the break is coming. You have 3 minutes or so in the beginning, where you feel normal in a sense. Breathe and be patient. Don’t look ahead and think how much harder they will become. Just think about the one contraction that you are in. Time really flies by. Being surrounded by people that love you and want you to succeed was so important too.

Well, my contractions progressed very quickly! And then, I started to have contractions 1 minute apart. These were the tough contractions. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that it doesn’t hurt, because it does. But, to me, it’s a different kind of hurt. Anyways, we all agreed, it’s time to go to the hospital. We get there and again, they put us in a little room. And I end up in this little room for 3 hours!!! When your in the middle of labor the last thing you want is to be cramped up in a room while getting checked AND having contractions. When the nurse came into check me we all thought that this was it and the baby was right around the corner. Well, we were wrong (sort of). From my first visit to this one, in 6 hours, I have not changed or progressed at all. I was 3.5 centimeters dilated and only 80% effaced. It was SO HARD to believe!!! I knew I was in labor, but the nurse was insistent that I just irritated my uterus and thats why I was having strong “cramping”. She begun to explain to us how woman are so anxious to have a baby, that they do crazy things to their body and just end up going through pain for nothing. So she gave me 2 options. 1) I stay at the hospital and take a shot of Nubian (sp?) which is like a super strong muscle relaxer (and also a pain reliever you can get in the middle of labor), and if the cramping goes away and stays away, she was right. No labor. or 2) I take a sleeping pill and a hot bath at home and same thing, my uterus should relax and no more labor. Well, because I didn’t want to take a shot and stay at the hospital, I opted to go home and try to sleep. On the way home I was SO uncomfortable! My doula went home and so did my mom. Everyone was in such disbelief that I wasn’t in labor. It just didn’t make sense. I knew in my heart that the nurse wasn’t right, but I listened anyways and went home.

Once I got home I felt HORRIBLE! I took a sleeping pill while in great pain. Not a good combo. You have no control over your body with the dizziness and lightheadedness. I tried to sleep first but that was a no go, so I jumped in the tub. Usually, a hot tub helps me relax, but in this case, the water was far to low to give any kind of comfort. BJ checked on me while I was in the tub worried, because he could hear me moaning. (sounds great, I know 🙂 ) We knew that something wasn’t right. I tried to lay down again, but every 5 minutes I was getting up or rolling around. well, out of concern, I went to the restroom because something just didn’t seem right. Well, I was bleeding. A lot too. I had no idea what to think. My head was already spinning because of the sleeping pill, and now I’m bleeding. BJ finally looked at me and said “i’m calling the hospital! There is no way your not in labor”. So after a short conversation with the nurse that checked me before, she decided that my cervix is probably thinning out and I should come in. (this is where I wanted to say “NO DIP SHERLOCK!” but I kept all comments to myself 🙂 )

The trip to the hospital was NOT enjoyable! Laboring in a moving car is no fun and in no way comfortable! We practically ran into the hospitals check in desk and they took me straight to a delivery room!! I was so happy. While my mom and doula where on their way, the same nurse checked my again. You could tell she didn’t have high hopes for me, she thought she was going to help induce me or something because she could tell I was uncomfortable. Well guess what?!?! In 2 hours I dilated to 6 centimeters and I was 100% effaced!!! The nurse couldn’t believe it! And I cried! I knew that I was in active labor it just took it’s time.

I have to tell you, if your hospital offers a Jacuzzi tub or they have, what is called, a “suite” TAKE IT!!! Especially if you are going all natural. The hot tub and it consuming your body is such a relief!! You still have pain but it’s easier to relax. I labored in the tub for almost 2 hours. My doula also was an excellent coach!! She was so great with different positions and helping me cope. She knew when I should move or how to breathe. She was so encouraging when I was making weird breathing sounds and telling me that I was doing everything right. (when you feel like you aren’t) Staying in the tub while I was in labor was amazing. But there was a time when my doula suggested I change positions. I leaned up against the edge of the tub, on my knees, and spread’um! OH MY GOODNESS!!! That changed everything in an instant!!! My contractions were far more intense and I could feel the baby drop! Then within minutes my doula was like “I think it’s time to get out and get checked.” And was she right!! I got out and I was 9.5 centimeters!! The only thing from keeping this baby in was my water. So although, some people wouldn’t consider this “natural”, they broke my water. I mean, come on…. I was SO CLOSE!! It didn’t matter 🙂 And then, the pushing began.

Now, let me tell you something. Pushing was NOT exciting for me. Or even a “relief” like it is for most woman. I was nervous to push. I don’t know why, but I was hesitant every time. I’m glad I listened too my body and when I felt like I should push. Sometimes I pushed with a contraction and sometimes I didn’t. I had a GREAT nurse and Doctor too. They Allowed me to go with what I was feeling and stop when I wanted to stop. I was never rushed. Sometimes I feel like woman don’t have control and then thats when things go wrong. I could tell when she, the baby, was moving. It was the coolest thing. Sometimes I even felt her wiggle her way down. Almost to say, “here I am mom. I’m helping you!”. If I were to have an epidural I wouldn’t have felt anything and would have had to push with a Dr. telling me when. I pushed through the pain. I could tell when I needed to push harder or just a little. I took breaks where I wanted too.. and therefore, the baby came when it was time. I only pushed for about an hour. Some people think thats so long, but to me it felt like a few minutes. And I will say this, if I could have had medicine at one given time it would have been at the VERY end and getting that head out!!! Talk about the “ring of fire” !!!!! Goodness, that was NOT good. Thankfully, it last all but a few seconds. AND I swear, that because I did what I felt like my body was telling me, I didn’t tear! I know that some woman do or get an episiotomy (where the Dr. just cuts you), but because my dr. wasn’t anxious about getting her out, and I pushed how I felt I needed too, I didn’t tear 🙂

And there she was. exhausted and all… I held my baby for the first time. I didn’t cry. I was so worn out. But everyone else cried for me! It was sweet bliss!!! Holding her and feeling her soft skin was everything I thought it would be!!! My baby girl, Sage Madison, was born at 12:01pm… Amazing. And I did it all by myself.

Now, if someone could have prepared me for the AFTER baby stuff.. I would have appreciated that!! Sheesh.. they really mess with you and everything your body goes through!! But that is something that may be a little bit more gross… so if you want to know about that, email me. hahaha… I am not going to get into detail about that on here.