Oh Mother!

So. I wasn’t going to write about my newest journey because lets face it, right now, I have about 5 different “journeys” happening and I would probably confuse you with just one, let alone all 5! But I have come to realize that I need to share and now my mom started a blog (hence the title) and thought I would give my 2 cents and tell you a little about what’s going on with my family.

Before I got married 4 years ago I realized that my body isn’t like it use to be in high school and I was at a weight that I struggled with deeply. I worked out before the wedding, got a little bit healthier and didn’t think much of it since. Until, I had Sage. My whole world, and body, changed after having her. At first, all was well with my weight. I lost all of the 30 pounds that I gained and felt great but quickly I realized that my weight would be much more of an issue then I had planned to deal with. Long story short, for the last two years my weight has been a consistent battle. I have never been thrilled with the way that I looked and felt. I have always had the awful “muffin top” and have ruined MANY jeans due to my glorious thighs rubbing together. (if you don’t have this problem wear your jeans with pride! just dont tell me about it ;)) I have done many weight-loss programs and have worked out until I was blue in the face. I am wonderful at going full force into a good idea, a.k.a. a diet, and then weeks or months later I fall short.

This past year has been a huge reflection year for me. From marriage problems, loss of a baby and now moving away from my family, I have had a lot to account for and a lot to deal with. Well, a little over a month ago I went to a woman’s conference where many women spoke but one woman, Lysa Terkhurst, stood out to me the most. Although her and I have nothing in common as far as our childhood goes, she really brought out a few things in me that I didn’t care to notice. Character flaws as I like to call them. This drew me to one of her books called Made To Crave. See, just in these last few months, I have realized that my weight problem and food addiction was MUCH, MUCH deeper than just a desire to eat junk food. It was much more then not being able to tell myself “no”. I realized a pattern from this last year’s events. September of 2010 I ordered a workout called Power 90 thinking it would solve all my weight issues, and it did, for about a month  (which this is a great program and excellent for beginners and stay-at-home mommy’s, I just have a problem to committing. More on that later)… then my marriage started to struggle. I started back up again after the New Year thinking “this was it! this is the year!” And I did awesome until May came… I got pregnant and then soon after, lost the baby. Then I jumped back on the diet band wagon for about a month then we put our house up on the market. The realization that “this was really happening for us” hit me like a ton of bricks. On top of that, my husband traveling for work leaving me with an energetic toddler for days without a break! It has taken me months to realize that whenever stress, sadness, depression, anger, ect…comes at me, I turn to food as a source of temporary comfort and satisfaction. With every new struggle I gained a little bit more weight to where I am now, at my heaviest I have ever been in my life. Looking at me, you would never know that I SHOULD BE wearing a size 14, but its the truth. Looking at me, you would never know all my struggles, but I have had my fair share this year (not much compared to some). Looking at me you would think I’m not losing it, but on the inside I have felt I lost all control. If it weren’t for my mom and a few close friends, I probably wouldn’t be able to write this and share with you. My mom is so amazing on many levels, but I will share more on that some other time.

This book, Made to Crave, has given me a much deeper insight to my struggles with life as a whole. We were made to crave, but to crave Jesus, to want to be more like him and to desire to be filled with wisdom and knowledge like Jesus. But this world has gotten really good at coming up with things to fill that need. Sex, drugs, alcohol, food, TV’s and video games, maybe even gossip and hate towards other causing us to get attention for ourselves. We have deep desires to crave something, anything… but lately our focus… my focus… has been all wrong.

Follow me and my mama, Jama, as we journey together in this book and blog about our experiences and what it has said to us. My mom and I’s journeys may be different but we are hoping to encourage and reach some of you in different ways. I do, however, encourage you to follow closely to my mama. She has had an amazing journey of her own that has a story worth listening too. She has been a huge source of inspiration for my life and I strive to be like her in so many ways on a daily basis. Especially her strive to clean! HA! I have been encouraging my mom for a looonngg time to start a blog! She has so much to share and is an excellent writer! Please follow her blog at Ketchupandpotatochips.blogspot.com

As for a QUICK Carpenter Update: We have finally sold our home and found one for ourselves in Westfield, Indiana! Funny thing about this house, It was nothing we thought we were going to get! LOL this house has maybe 2 things that were on our “must have” list and it is everything we could ever ask for. Funny how that works out. We are so excited to move but just waiting patiently for everything to finalize up here with our current home. I can’t believe we’re moving… this is so new for me.

But for now…. the journey continues 🙂